On December 19, 2009, I had the privilege of officiating the wedding of Eric Masters and Sarah Wasson. I (center) was privileged to officiate this wedding at the Willow Grove Baptist Church in Danville, Kentucky. I enjoyed doing this wedding. I had the pleasure and the responsibility of conducting pre-marital counseling with the two of them and enjoyed getting to know them not just as individuals, but as a couple.
The wedding rehearsal and ceremony was a lot of fun. Getting to the rehearsal was a chore given the weather and the Christmas shopping traffic, but we had some sweet fellowship at the dinner. The ceremony brought out family and friends from all over to witness this joining.
Having been married 11+ years, I recognize there are still some stages of life still to come for Cindy and me. But I believe I can still pass along some advice that may aid you in your marriage.
- You’re both sinners. Deal with it. Dave Harvey in his book When Sinners Say ‘I Do’ (review of this book forthcoming), notes that couples walk the aisle with a lot of baggage in tow. But you also walked down that aisle with hearts full of love—love toward God in providing your spouse to you, and and God-filled love for your spouse as well. As Christ dealt mercifully with His bride (the Church – Eph 5:28ff), so you are to deal mercifully and graciously with one another.
- It’s you against the world. Remember that! The world hates marriage, working to destroy or redefine the institution that God created—all in the name of sexual freedom. The devil hates marriage not only because God created that institution (Genesis 1:26-31), but also due to the fact that its a glorious picture of Christ and the church. And, sad to say, at times your flesh may hate marriage. In our default mode, we long to be self-sufficient and detest answering to anyone else but self (see Genesis 3). Yet, you will find the most freedom within the confines of marriage because marriage is one of the most sanctifying relationship on the planet. Through marriage, we see our weaknesses and our sins reflected back to us. And that’s a good thing. We can only repent of sins of which we are aware.
- Your goal is to strive toward Christlikeness—not ‘me-likeness.’ In leading in from #2, our goal is not to craft our spouse into our own image and our will, but to Christ’s. This is where we have to beware of certain marriage curriculums which have us only observe ‘love languages’ that we understand. It’s not about us. It’s about us seeing the gesture of love given by the other, and by the mercy and grace of Christ receiving it as such! The biggest enemy we have is our own sinful, selfish expectations. God has laid out in His word what to expect—we lead with grace, mercy, and a desire to help others (especially our spouse) strive toward holiness (Hebrews 12:14).
There is more I could talk about: raising kids, finances, work, etc. But I believe these three issues are very, very foundational.
Congratulations, Eric and Sarah! Many God give you many Christ-filled years together.
